After year, upon year, upon year of hating myself… falling to pieces each and every moment, physically not being able to look myself in the mirror, having sex to disguise my pain and crying myself to sleep every night. I finally have had this moment of realisation. I think I’m starting to love myself.
Deep down, I’ve always truly known. But I am a good person. I have the biggest heart. Despite all my pain, I still continue to trust everyone. I care so much about everyone I come across. I would put myself in pain over putting someone else in pain. I’ve always said to myself, you are so weird for caring so much. But I think I finally accept it and applaud myself for it. Not many people have these qualities. It’s rare. It’s exciting. Hopefully one day someone will love that about me and want that in me and not want to change me.
I have had to experience so much pain, but it has never stopped me from thinking with my heart and loving people unconditionally.
Not everything about having a big heart is rainbows and lollipops. Having a big heart, will always make you feel like you did too much or didn’t do enough.
I think I get this from my dad…he is the one who gave me my morals and my values. When I look him in his eyes, I feel our souls match. I feel like our hearts are quite similar. We knew each other in a different life. And frankly, I would kill for him. I am so lucky to have a father with the heart he does..
He often said to me as a kid, you’re the only person I’d do this for. But I know that’s a lie… because if he ever sees someone in pain he goes out of his way to help them or fix them.
So finally instead of resenting my big heart, my extreme need to help people… I finally embrace the fact that my qualities are rare and lovable.
It gets heavy at times, but I’d much rather be a good person than a shit one.
Chloe.
Chloe's Blog 
Chloe, that was a beautiful blog and I am so glad you are starting to love yourself more because there is a lot to love and you should love yourself. You are a very special person and I have always known that and it is about time you started to feel really good about yourself. Now you realize what a great person you really are you will be able to develop and grow and enjoy the great experiences that are ahead of you. Never forget that. You have to love yourself first before anyone else will love you.
I will miss you so much while you are overseas but I understand this is something you have to do and I hope you have a great time doing it and the little job you have got for yourself in the U.K. is perfect.
I just want to comment on a few things you said. You can’t trust everyone and love everyone because if you do you will always be disappointed and you will always get hurt. You can’t think with your heart you have to think with your head because that is where your brains are, if something sounds too good to be true that is usually because it is. Think with your head and not with your heart and if your head tells you not to do something then don’t do it and that way you won’t get hurt and won’t be too disappointed. I am glad you have the values you have but don’t believe everything people tell you, work it out for yourself, and if it sounds reasonable then make your own judgement but if something sounds too good to be true then its probably not.
Chloe, trust has to be earned it can’t just be given or taken and for it to be earned it will take some time to trust someone so don’t trust someone straight away make them earn your trust and trust is a two way street. If you want someone to trust you then they have to prove that they can be trusted.
The final comment I would like to make on your blog is you are wrong and i am lying. What I have done and given to you I would only ever do for you and for no one else and that is because you are my daughter and my responsibility and I love you with all my heart and I will always love you till the day I die and that is why what I do for you I wouldn’t do for anyone else because in my life you are irreplaceable and will always be number 1. I hope you understand and know that. One day when you have a child you will realize what I mean. My love always. Dadxxx
LikeLike